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Rainbow flags, applause and celebrations. For one month a year there seems to be no inequality. Everything is dyed in the colors of the flag LGTBI and the party occupies more than the demand.“data-reactid =” 26 “> Rainbow flags, applause and celebrations. For one month a year there seems to be no inequality. Everything is tinged with the colors of the LGTBI flag and the party occupies more than demand.

At the time of the 15th anniversary of the approval of the LGTBI marriage in Spain, there is one certainty: there is still much to do. In this time, little progress has been made by the state so that, for example, couples can consider raising a family. For the LGTBI community it is not as easy as for heterosexuals: there are still several restrictions. In the eyes of some public administrations, families made up of two fathers or two mothers remain different.“data-reactid =” 27 “> At the time of the 15th anniversary of the approval of the LGTBI marriage in Spain, there is one certainty: there is still much to do. At this time, there have been few state advances, for example , couples can consider raising a family. For the LGTBI community it is not as easy as for heterosexuals: there are still several restrictions. In the eyes of some public administrations, families made up of two fathers or two mothers continue to be different.

“Couples of women must meet some requirements to register their children that those of men and women do not, “says José María García Hernández, coordinator of the families area of ​​the & nbsp;Spanish Federation of Gay Transsexual and Bisexual Lesbians (FELGTB). “data-reactid =” 28 “>” Couples of women must meet some requirements to register their children that those of men and women do not, “says José María García Hernández, coordinator of the area of ​​families of the Spanish Federation of Lesbians Transsexual and Bisexual Gays (FELGTB).

According to García, the inequalities when it comes to forming a family depend on the territory where the couple resides, since a state-wide LGTBI Law still has not been approved: “We cannot allow, depending on the place of residence and the Autonomous Government on duty, whether or not sexual, family and gender affective diversity is worked and whether or not equality policies are carried out ”.“data-reactid =” 29 “> According to García, the inequalities when it comes to forming a family depend on the territory where the couple resides, since a state-wide LGTBI Law is still not approved:“ We cannot allow, depending on the place of residence and the regional government on duty, whether or not sexual, family and gender affective diversity is worked and whether equality policies are carried out or not ”.

Two of these families are made up of Elisa and Ana —Gara’s mothers—, and Víctor and David, parents of Carmen and Julio. Theirs are very different family units, but the two couples have faced those tripping that the public administrations continue to put on some LGTBI families. Quite an odyssey.“data-reactid =” 30 “> Two of these families are made up of Elisa and Ana —Gara’s mothers—, and Víctor and David, parents of Carmen and Julio. Their families are very different family units, but the two couples They have faced those trips that the public administrations continue to put on some LGTBI families, a whole odyssey.

“My family is formed by my wife, Ana, my daughter, Gara, and me,” says Elisa, for whom creating a family book has not been easy. She says that she and Ana have been together since 1998 and, in 2013, they married to start a family. “If we weren’t married, it was much more difficult because we had to go through an adoption process,” she details. The requirement of having to be married to register a child is not required for heterosexual couples, regardless of whether fertilization is carried out in vitro or not.“data-reactid =” 52 “>” My family is formed by my wife, Ana, my daughter, Gara, and myself, “says Elisa, for whom creating a family book has not been easy. She says that she and Ana They have been together since 1998 and, in 2013, they married to start a family. “If we weren’t married it was much more difficult because we had to go through an adoption process,” he explains. The requirement of having to be married to register a child heterosexual couples are not required, regardless of whether or not IVF is performed.

In addition, she says that the assisted reproduction technique for which they wanted to be mothers, known as CLOTHING method & nbsp;[processbywhichoneofthetwomothersisgenetic(providestheegg)andanotherpregnant(whenpregnant[procesomedianteelcualunadelasdosmadresesgenética(aportaelóvulo)yotragestante(alquedarseembarazadain vitro)], forces to have to be married. This process has a cost of between 4,000 and 6,000 euros, depending on the clinic.“data-reactid =” 53 “> In addition, she says that the assisted reproduction technique for which they wanted to be mothers, known as the ROPA method [proceso mediante el cual una de las dos madres es genética (aporta el óvulo) y otra gestante (al quedarse embarazada in vitro)], forces to have to be married. This process has a cost of between 4,000 and 6,000 euros, depending on the clinic.

“We started the process in September 2013 and we were ruling out homophobic clinics seeing if they knew the ROPA method or not. In the end we found one and we did it. My wife got pregnant the first time and in 2014 we had our daughter, “he details. Once Gara was born, the administrative obstacles began. & Nbsp; In addition, Ana and Elisa could not agree that assisted reproduction was covered by & nbsp;Social Security, something that did not happen until 2019.“data-reactid =” 54 “>“ We started the process in September 2013 and we were ruling out homophobic clinics seeing if they knew the ROPA method or not. In the end we found one and we did it. My wife got pregnant the first time and in 2014 We had our daughter, “he explains. Once Gara was born, the administrative obstacles began. In addition, Ana and Elisa could not agree that assisted reproduction was covered by Social Security, something that did not happen until 2019.

“At that time, heterosexual friends also had a girl and we went together to register them with the Civil Registry of Madrid. I can not complete it and my heterosexual friend with a partner, yes ”, he details. The justification from the administration was totally random and discriminatory: “They alleged various reasons such as that I should have registered her before or that my wife and I were not registered in the same house, when my friend and his partner were not registered either. All because I was not the pregnant mother ”.“data-reactid =” 55 “>” At that time, heterosexual friends also had a girl and we went together to enroll them in the Civil Registry of Madrid. I cannot complete it and my heterosexual friend with a partner, yes, “he explains. from the administration it was totally random and discriminatory: “They alleged various reasons such as that I should have registered her before or that my wife and I were not registered in the same house, when my friend and his partner were not registered either. All because I was not the mother pregnant woman ”.

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As García pointed out, these requirements are almost exclusive to each registry, which in its opinion chooses what it requires for the filiation of children. “They also asked us for the certificate from the clinic where we had done the process and the consent of both. When we asked the clinic, they were amazed with the certificate because they only ask for it in the Madrid registry. The center is in Getafe and, generally, the families that go are from the south of Madrid and not from the capital, and in their registry they are not asked for them ”, he recalls.“data-reactid =” 60 “> As García pointed out, these requirements are almost exclusive to each registry, which in its opinion chooses what it requires for the filiation of the children.” They also asked us for the certificate of the clinic where we had made the process and the consent of both. When we asked the clinic they were amazed with the certificate because they only ask for it in the Madrid registry. The center is in Getafe and, generally, the families that go are from the south of Madrid and not from the capital, and they are not asked to register, ”he recalls.

The next day the three came, breaking with the rest of the pregnant mother, and they were able to register their daughter. “We were angry because our friend was able to do it perfectly,” he continues, although he indicates that the obstacles do not end outside the Spanish borders. Ana has French nationality on her mother’s side and wanted Gara to have it too.“data-reactid =” 61 “> The next day the three came, breaking with the rest of the pregnant mother, and they were able to register their daughter.” We were angry because our friend was able to do it perfectly, “he continues, although he indicates that the obstacles do not end outside the Spanish borders Ana has French nationality on her mother’s side and wanted Gara to have it too.

“When we got married, they didn’t give us any problems and we were able to register the wedding there, with our family book, but we couldn’t register our daughter in the name of both of them as marriage,” she details. “So my wife has two family books in France: one with me and one with her daughter,” he says. Although she points out that they have not started the coadoption process – adopting their daughter as if her partner had had her as a single mother and being able to also be a mother – that they would have to carry out, with the cost that this implies. They will wait to have more children and do it with everyone.“data-reactid =” 62 “>” When we got married, they didn’t give us any problems and we were able to register the wedding there, with our family book, but we couldn’t register our daughter in the name of both of them as a marriage, “he details.” So my wife has two family books in France: one with me and one with her with our daughter, “he says. Although he points out that they have not started the co-adoption process – adopt their daughter as if her partner had had her as a single mother and also be able to state as a mother – that they would have to carry out, at the cost that this implies. They will wait to have more children and do it with everyone.

Victor and David have been parents since 2018 to the twins Julio and Carmen. Both began the process of surrogacy in the US after ruling out adoption and fostering. An option that It has been harshly criticized by various parties and the feminist movement.“data-reactid =” 84 “> Víctor and David have been parents of the twins Julio and Carmen since 2018. Both began the process of surrogacy in the US after ruling out adoption and foster care. An option that has been strongly criticized by various parties and the feminist movement.

“We opted for this method because adoption is impossible right now. At the international level, it cannot be done because there are hardly any international agreements with countries that allow homo-parental adoption, and the national one depends on when it opens, which is usually from time to time and for a very short period, ”says Victor. “The options we had left were reception and surrogacy, and we ruled out reception for personal reasons,” he adds.“data-reactid =” 85 “>” We opted for this method because adoption is impossible right now. At the international level, it cannot be done because there are hardly any international agreements with countries that allow homo-parental adoption and national adoption depends on when it is opened, which is usually every so long and for a very short period, “says Victor.” The options we had left were reception and surrogacy, and we ruled out reception for personal reasons, “he adds.

An example of such international obstacles for homosexual couples who want to adopt is the list of countries where the majority of children adopted in 2018 came from.: Vietnam, China, India, Hungary and Russia, according to the Ministry of Health. In all these countries, homosexual union is not allowed and, in some, homosexuality continues to be penalized. “Data-reactid =” 86 “> An example of such international obstacles for homosexual couples who want to adopt is the list of countries from where The majority of children adopted in 2018 came: Vietnam, China, India, Hungary and Russia, according to the Ministry of Health.In all those countries, homosexual union is not allowed and, in some, homosexuality is still punished.

Surrogacy, despite being illegal in Spain, is allowed if it is carried out in certain countries, such as the USA and Canada. According to the web Interfertility, in these territories “the paternity of children born by general surrogacy is established by court ruling and the baby is automatically registered as a Spanish citizen in the consulates.” & nbsp;“data-reactid =” 87 “> Surrogacy, despite being illegal in Spain, is allowed if it is carried out in certain countries, such as the USA and Canada. According to the Interfertility website, in these territories” paternity of the children born through general surrogacy is established by court ruling and the baby is automatically registered as a Spanish citizen in the consulates. ”

This was done by David and Victor with the little ones, who arrived in Spain already registered in the US consular registry as if they were the children of “two single parents” and with a court ruling that endorsed it. This should not have brought them problems at the legal level since the provincial court generally accepts co-adoption in these cases. However, it was not.“data-reactid =” 88 “> That was done by David and Victor with the little ones, who arrived in Spain already registered in the US consular registry as if they were the children of” two unmarried parents “and with a court ruling that endorsed it. It should have brought them problems at the legal level since the provincial court generally accepts co-adoption in these cases, however, this was not the case.

“Right now we have three family books: one of Julio as David’s son, and in which a note appears that indicates that I am a legal guardian until a sentence of adoption is passed; another with Carmen as my daughter and in which the same note appears regarding David; and then the one for our wedding, ”says Víctor.“data-reactid =” 89 “>“ Right now we have three family books: one of Julio as David’s son, and in which a note appears indicating that I am a legal guardian until an adoption sentence is passed; another with Carmen as my daughter and in which the same note appears with respect to David, and then that of our wedding, “says Victor.

“It is as if, before we were married, each one had a son and now we are requesting the adoption of our partner’s son to have a joint family book,” says Víctor. “There was the problem, which we thought we were not going to have because the US court ruling is within the Hague Convention& nbsp; and& nbsp;That should make it fully legal in Spain. But the judge questioned the process by which we had been parents, instead of continuing with the legal procedure, “he adds.“data-reactid =” 90 “>” It is as if, before we were married, each of us had a son and now we were asking for the adoption of our partner’s son to have a joint family book, “says Victor.” There was the problem, that We thought we were not going to have it because the US court ruling is within the Hague Convention and that should make it a full-fledged law in Spain. But the judge questioned the process by which we had been parents, instead of continuing with the legal procedure ”, he adds.

The unfavorable resolution of the investigating judge of the coadoption case in Spain has brought them to the Provincial Court of Madrid, where they hope that the sentence will be resolved in their favor and that Julio and Carmen appear, a year and a half later, as brothers in the family book. & nbsp;“data-reactid =” 91 “> The unfavorable resolution of the investigating judge of the coadoption case in Spain has taken them to the Provincial Court of Madrid, where they hope that the sentence will be resolved in their favor and that Julio and Carmen appear, a year and a half later, as brothers in the family book.

“For a heterosexual couple it is easier not to have to give explanations for resorting to surrogacy. Yes, there is a certain bias that supposes a double discrimination: one for the chosen method and the other for being homosexual, ”they detail. & Nbsp; This shows that, beyond the chosen method, these problems occur only in single-parent families.“data-reactid =” 92 “>“ For a heterosexual couple it is easier not to have to give explanations for resorting to surrogacy. Yes, there is a certain bias that supposes double discrimination: one for the chosen method and the other for being homosexual This shows that, beyond the chosen method, these hits occur only in homoparental families.

The couple remembers that in their association, Galehi (Gays and Lesbians with Children),& nbsp; where Elisa and Ana are also, there are more parents in the same situation, even in adoption cases. “There is a couple of girls in which one of them adopted an Ethiopian girl years ago because she could not do it with her partner and when it came to co-adoption the judge imposed her moral convictions and asked for a number of requirements that were not legally necessary “He points out.“data-reactid =” 93 “> The couple recalls that in their association, Galehi (Gays and Lesbians with Children), where Elisa and Ana are also present, there are more parents in the same situation, even in cases of adoption. a couple of girls in which one of them adopted an Ethiopian girl years ago because she could not do it with her partner and when it came to co-adopting the judge imposed her moral convictions and asked for a number of requirements that were not legally necessary, “she points out .

The discrimination of the children of Víctor and David goes beyond the courts, they are also unprotected in the schooling procedures and even at the level of legal identification. “Right now we have a bond with the other’s son as a guardian, but it is not the same before the law. We are discriminated because, for example, a widowed father who remarries, can perfectly adopt the son of his partner and nothing happens, “they detail.“data-reactid =” 94 “> Discrimination against the children of Victor and David goes beyond the courts, they are also unprotected in school procedures and even at the level of legal identification.” Right now we have with the son of the Another a bond as a guardian, but it is not the same before the law. We are discriminated because, for example, a widowed father who remarries, can perfectly adopt the son of his partner and nothing happens, “they detail.

Inequality on paper

To this problem are added other details that draw attention especially when it comes to filing the little ones or registering them in the family book. Although many forms have already been updated, others still have father and mother, although they include parent A and parent B.

Birth certificate in Spain 2019. (Photo: Ministry of Justice)

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To avoid these situations, Elisa and Ana took Gara to a more inclusive and diverse school, where they do not celebrate the days of the father or mother. “However, we have continued to find the forms in which mother and father appear at school, for example, in enrollment. It is true that this year has been the last: tutor 1 and tutor 2 appear, but they keep putting father and mother next to them. However, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day have not been celebrated even in kindergarten. Not even Family Day ”, they point out.

In the case of David and Víctor, the procedure in which they are immersed prevents their children from having two parents on the DNI. “Right now they are not legally brothers or have the same last names and it affects us at the time of schooling, which, for example, gives points for being twins or for being brothers,” says Víctor.

“In the DNI, the Passport or the health cards will also have each one a father”, he details. “It is absurd and it is seen to be something that is still not understood,” emphasizes David.

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